Since I was flying solo this weekend, it is up to me to keep the sod from dying. So along with the watering regimen that hubs has the lawn on, I try to check up on the 'racoon situation'.
Tonight I went out and stood on the deck. I looked at the lawn. Success. No rolled up sod.
I was about to walk inside when I heard something. Breathing. That's weird, I think.
I thought maybe it was my neighbour, until I looked up and saw this:
Mother f'er. I literally jumped when I saw the little guy. I didn't know what to do. I wanted him to leave, but how do you 'reason' with a racoon?
Especially a cute baby racoon.
Baby? Sh#t. When there are baby racoons, there are momma racoons.
(look a bit farther back in the picture.)
Yes, sir. THREE flippin racoons. Chilling on my fence.
So picture this. It is late at night. I'm home alone and I'm wielding the only weapon I have.
A broom***. But what can I do with that? I try knocking the broom against the fence within reach thinking the noise or vibration would make them scurry off.
Nothing. One of them flashed their eyes at me as if to say "you rang?"
I knock the fence again. "Please leave" I plead.
This is what they did.
Even the solo baby in the tree curled up for a rest.
Jerks. They were taunting me. The stupid supposedly nocturnal jerks were sleeping in my yard. They may as well have been giving me the finger with their creepily human-like hands.
So I do what any good blogger would do in this situation. Grabbed the camera. If I couldn't make them leave with pure brute strength (aka banging the deck with my broom), I'd photograph the insane situation and blog about it.
So I snap some pics and then tried to come to a truce with the little guys. I told them they could sleep there if they didn't F with my lawn. I was very stern when I cut the deal but I'm not sure I can trust them.
*** Please note that I didn't and never had any intention of touching the raccoons with the broom. The broom was to protect ME :-)***
Update: this is what you get when you make a deal with thedevil raccoons:
Update: this is what you get when you make a deal with the
26 comments:
Baahahah oh my goodness!! They are kinda cute though...
OMG you didn't feed them did you (last picture?) ... they will never leave!!!
Haha no that is a pic from google. Gross.
I will show you the pic from the next morning and you might change your mind!
LOL...I always think they look like little burglars with their masks on. Our former neighbor had a broken shed that a family took up as their residence - 7 babies and the mom walking down our fence on a daily basis!
At our new house a spring thaw woke up a pregnant racoon and it tried to scratch itself into our house while I was home alone at 2 am - imagine your heart racing when you hear bang, bang - scratch, scratch at 2 am and your hubby isn't home.
omg this post almost made me burst out laughing at my desk. Those critters are relentless!
Raccoons are relentless! I love that you took all those pictures of them!
Wow, you really got up close and personal with them. I have a racoon family in my garage, that i've been trying to get rid of for a year...but they keep coming back!! :( I guess, maybe i should just ask them polietly. LOL
Oh that would make me crazy if I saw one trying to get into my house. They aren't scared of humans, that is the problem. So you can't yell at them and make them leave. They would probably look me in the eye and say "it would be a lot easier if you opened the screen for me".
Jerks. Cute jerks, but jerks nonetheless.
I KNOW. I have some follow up pics - stay tuned.
Those darn racoons!! Hope they leave your lawn alone!
LOL @ 'you rang?'!!
OMG I burst out laughing when I saw the photo and accompanying line "The f'ers curled up for a sleep!" That is classic. Have you thought about putting down chicken wire for the time being, to help get the grass to get it's roots planted?
lol I love the commentary. Girl, you are brave! Those little hands would freak the crap out of me. I am glad we do not have them in this country.
Can you believe it? I almost died. Jay said I should have used the hose but I thought it would be cruel. However, looking at my lawn the next day, I think my definition of cruelty is changing.
Oh my gosh I'd be swinging the broom at them! We have some kind of animals, cats or whatever that have dug up out new plants, grrrr, makes me so mad. Don't let them fool you. Chase the things off!
Yeah - that is on the list. Tonight I'm getting mothballs, soap flakes and sod staples. And a water gun :-)
those little brats!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just read (skimmed) in the newspaper that they don't like talk radio? Leave a radio on your deck at night? MAYBE?
These pictures remind me of those huge raccoons that used to live underneath my deck in our old house. You might want to look into a ultrasonic repeller that's only audible to small animals but not to human. The downside is that it might drive your immediate neighbours' dogs nuts or scared if they are close-by.
Spritz some "fox urine" around your yard/fence and reapply after a rain storm. You can get it at walmart in the fishing/hunting dept and it works great to keep critters at bay.
Oh no!! What a bunch of jerks. So sad. Racoon watch 2011.
1st I'm so happy I found your blog! 2nd sorry I giggled when I read this..until I saw the lawn.. Ugh! Hugs
Oh my gosh -- that's too funny!
Thanks for reading! Yeah the lawn bit sucks. Luckily we don't get a lot of sun in our backyard so hopefully the stuff that was pulled up has a chance to live!
Two words: Water Gun
Hahaha that is what my husband said. Actually, he said garden hose. :-)
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