I'm not sure if any of you read blogs other than house/decor blogs, but I do. Before I ever started the blog, I actually read a lot of the "OOTD" (outfit of the day) and "What I Wore" blogs. I typically enjoyed them and actually found myself pulling a lot of style inspiration from the stylish women who posted their pics. Sometimes I even found myself going out and buying what I saw on them. Ahem. Like this dress from the Gap:
Anyways - my interest in those blogs have waned somewhat (with the exception of a few faves like Kendi's), but I was shocked to hear that one of the top bloggers in the Anthro-Blogging community (that is ppl who blog about and love Anthropologie clothing) got herself into a bit lot of hot water for allegedly taking money from her readers for a personal shopping service and then often not sending the item that the reader pre-purchased and/or not refunding the money. I wasn't affected by this so I don't want to go into too much detail but if you do a quick google you can probably find all the details.
The general consensus in that blogging community from what I gather is that she didn't go in with the intention of defrauding her readers from the beginning - but that she got in over her head - receiving the money, buying clothing herself and then not having the funds to perform her personal shopping services or refund the money where necessary. It seems like the shopping just got out of control and she couldn't get her head above water.
The point of telling this story is that I think it is important to discuss and talk about managing money and not getting ourselves into situations like that. We in the house/decor blogging community are just as susceptible to the impulsive purchases based on another bloggers recommendation (i.e. "so-and-so bought this so I also have to have it") or feelings of envy/jealousy over perfectly designed rooms that we want to recreate (i.e. "every other blogger has a perfectly wallpapered powder room so must I").
It is so easy to get wrapped up in what other bloggers are doing. What they are buying, what they are renovating and how we *think* they live. House envy is everywhere. I won't deny it - I've definitely felt it. I often find myself wanting to buy certain things or decorate in a certain way because of what I see on the web, but I do my best to keep myself in check and work with the budget that my husband and I have set for ourselves. We don't have a lot of impulsive purchases - we pretty much save up in advance and then buy when the money is there.
As an example, that is what we did with the bathroom. As you know, we started planning the reno out ages ago. The first 'real' purchase we made was the designer package from Carol Reed. The reason we ultimately did that was because we wanted an expert opinion on the budget and how we should be spending our dollars.
When Carol first sent through the budget, we shocked at first. I even emailed Carol and disagreed with some of her numbers. Oh no - we can get that for cheaper, I said. Carol probably lauged on the inside but calmly explained why her budget was the way it was.
Then the project sort of went on hold. We hadn't budgeted enough money so our account wasn't topped up to where it needed to be. So we saved. And saved. When we started the reno, we had an account with our bathroom money in it. We kept track of what we spent and when we went over on one or two things (ahem, the tub), we made sure that we cut back in other areas (i.e. the tiles).
I tell you this so that when readers come across my bathroom or my blog - they understand that no, we don't have tones of money and no, we don't throw it around willy nilly. We plan, save and bargain hunt.
Sometimes what I think is missing from the blogging community is a little bit of honesty. I know I've talked about it before but I think now, after seeing what happened with the above-mentioned blogger, it is important to really address the issue. There will always be someone out there with a nicer house than yours (but have you seen their debt-load?), a hipper decorating style (but did you know she is going through a divorce?) or a seemingly endless supply of money for fancy purses or designer couches (maybe her husband is never home?). Everyone has their 'stuff' but we rarely show it on our blogs. We stage our pictures and won't show our hard work until it is perfectly in place. We don't discuss budgets (how crass) and we certainly don't talk about when/if we get in over our heads.
So from the outside - everything looks perfect. Perfect job, perfect clothes, perfectly made lunches for our kids and dinners for our husbands. We think of stuff we can do to post on our blogs and then feel anxious when we don't have anything 'blog-worthy' to show.
It's sick, right?
So I'm asking you this. Let's all be a bit more transparent going forward. Let's talk about some of the issues (I want that wallpaper but just can't afford it right now) and some of the solutions (I'm going to cut out Starbucks for the month to add to my bathroom reno fund). Let's help others figure out DIY options and encourage them when they work on their reno/decorating piece by piece. Readers don't only like big massive reveals of huge renos. Some of my favourite things to read about are the small updates - painting the fireplace, adding colour to some french doors, etc.
So that's that. Long post, I know, but I think it is important to address this stuff because I'd be crushed to find out that one of our own was struggling with $$$ because she was so busy trying to keep up with the proverbial Joneses.
As a thank you for reading such a long, drawn out post, here is another (brutal) picture of my bathroom. Still waiting for taps, sconces and the mirror :-)
If you have some time, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject of transparency and envy in blogging. Is it a problem? Do you struggle with it? What are your suggestions to help?
annnnd....discuss!
