Monday, December 17, 2012

I'm Never Going to Be a Pinterest-Mom

I was naive. That much I know now. 

I've never been big on chores. If I have spare time, cleaning the kitchen, emptying the dishwasher or taking out the garbage would NEVER be on my list of things I would want to do.

But Janice, hardly anyone WANTS to clean the house, right?

It sounds strange, but I kind of wanted to want to clean the house and make home cooked meals. When I thought about what life would be like while I was on maternity leave, I thought that in theory, I would love to be the kind of mom who filled her days with fun activities for the baby, and then when the baby slept (which would be ALL THE TIME, right?), I would tidy up the house, put dinner in the oven and maybe even work on a house project or two.

Please. You can stop laughing now (especially my immediate family). I know it sounds crazy, especially if you knew me in real life. 

Anyways, last week I was trying to be that person. I was heading out to a low-key birthday celebration for one of my friends and I offered to make the cake. We usually go out to celebrate this stuff but everyone was feeling a cozy night in so a baked cake seemed appropriate.

I of course turned to my Pinterest board for food - I'd pinned a cake idea that seemed AWESOME and super cute. Being a SAHM and all, I figured I would have time to get'er done.


Cute, right?

Here is a photo step by step of how the experts say you should make it:


I had grand plans of following the directions. However, I sort of ran out of time. Come Thursday night, I realized that I didn't have any food colouring to make the ombre layers. Oops. So I decided I would just go simple and keep it all white on the inside. I thought that doing the baking and the decorating (and grocery shopping) all on Friday was a little ambitious with Luca around...

So I baked the cakes. Afterwards, I looked at the cakes and wondered where I went wrong. They were WAY too big to "roll" in the sprinkles like the photo describes. I'll have to think of something else then...

The cakes turned out fine. It was now time to decorate! I know the recipe required a homemade buttercream icing, but, well...I rarely like fancy icing. I much prefer the chemical filled, never goes bad and always tastes delicious frosting that you buy on the (non-refridgerated) shelf at the grocery store. In order to make it a bit fancier, I put the frosting in my stand-mixer and whipped it up.

The whipped frosting went on beautifully - it even had some of those smooth swirls that you see the fancy-pants cakes have!

All of this description is to get to the point where the sprinkles were put on, right? Because that is the part where you know the FAIL is about to happen.

Like I said - rolling the cake was out as it was too big. So I was going to use the messy method (i.e. hand application).

I started with the top. This part was easy. Just dump sprinkles on and spread them out. I think I put too many on but figured maybe I could just tip the cake a little to get the excess off (haha seriously. That is what I was thinking).

The sides is where it got tricky. Putting itty bitty sprinkles on a vertical surface is an exercise in frustration that is for sure. I thought I would be smart and put the cake on a baking sheet to catch all of the excess. I even put it all on the ground to try and localize the mess.

Again, what a joke. Sprinkles, my friends, are itty bitty little round BOUNCY BALLS. They don't fall and sit...they fall and bounce EVERYWHERE. My kitchen was covered in the little buggers. Also, because I am not a fancy baker, I don't have tools like "cake lifters" etc so I was decorating right on my cake stand (which alone makes me a semi-fancy baker I think!).

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See? Bunches of sprinkles just sitting in each lovely little divot of the scalloped edge. I didn't know what to do until it was clean up time. J came home and caught me doing this:

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(yes, it was so exciting for J to see this that he took pictures)


The upside of being ridiculed by your husband for picking up a vacuum is that it gave me an idea!!

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...because I'm sure all of the fancy Pinterest-mommy-bakers use vacuums to clean up the excess sprinkles, right?!

You might laugh, but this WORKED people!

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That's right - I vacuumed my cake and it worked!! Cool, right?

It was cool, alright. Until I got a little too addicted to getting the excess sprinkles off...


Like I said...I'm never going to be a Pinterest-Mom.

Happy Monday :-)

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17 comments:

Janet @ House Four said...

All I can say is thank god pinterest wasn't around when i had my first baby or the guilt over what i couldn't get done might have killed me! Give yourself a break - having an infant is hard work! I honestly don't believe half the stuff i read on the internet. There is NO way some of these people are doing what they claim - or at least not without a LOT of help. Unless they have found extra hours in the day that I haven't been made aware of? lol
The only thing i can promise is that it does get better. The infant/toddler years are a lot of work and instead of pretending it's all Martha Stewart all the time, we should really be handing out medals to each other just for surviving :)
PS - your cake looks delish!

Lisa from Wicked & Weird said...

Dude, you are hilarious. I also did a multi-layer rainbow cake and there is still food colouring stains on the ceiling. NEVER AGAIN. (I have this sneaking suspicion that Pinterest Moms don't ACTUALLY exist. They're kind of like the "got-it-all-together/this-life-balance-thing-is-easy" moms - forever perpetuated in the media, but never actually achieved. )

Lisa from Wicked & Weird said...

PS - the cake looks beautiful - totally Pinterest-worthy! I am pinning it right now. :)

Lindsay said...

OMG this made my day. That was a genius move to use the vacuum. I'm going to keep that in mind . Love it. :)

Anne Fassnacht said...

It turned out amazing! I have wanted to make that cake too. A handy baker trick for next time is to cut out little pieces of wax or parchment paper and lay them down on the cake stand. Don't make them too big just big enough to cover the area of the cake plate that will be seen after the cake is done. Then set your cake on top of them so they stay in place. Put your icing or your sprinkles on. When you are done remove the parchment pieces and your cake plate will be less messy and easier to clean. I think you did a great job and now you know you can make it for the first birthday!

Casey said...

I'm still laughing in a way only an older sister can.

Life Begins at Thirty, Right? said...

I actually did that with the parchment paper but it doesn't hold the sprinkles! They just rolled off towards the cake. So I gave up. Haha.

Rachel said...

HILARIOUS! I can't tell you how much I relate to this post. Thanks!

Stephanie Fazio (aka lealou) said...

awesome post! :)

Nicole Ouellet said...

It looks fabulous! I made the same cake (the original pin was a different source) and I wanted to tear my hair out but it turned out alright. Now cake pops....that was an epic fail. I'm done with the fancy baking.

The Hook said...

Looks magnificent! Makes me wish I had baking skills...

Shannon8footsix said...

dork!

Julia F said...

so funny! and really, do those pinterest moms hide the vacuum off camera? i think so..

Amelia @ House Pretty said...

As soon as I saw the sprinkles on the cake stand I thought, "Vacuum!" The cake looks great btw. I'm a huge fan of the store-bought icing. It's easy and it tastes great. Enough said.

Shannon@Hoopla said...

HAHAHA! That video just made me laugh out loud. It's okay that you're not a Pinterest Mom. I actually think the cake looks amazing! :)

phoenix said...

Hilarious!!! Looks gorgeous though and I LOVE your cake stand! :D

Emma Barrett said...

Oh my gosh - this is my life! I am giggling so much reading this - the vacuum cleaner is a fantastic idea. I will remember this next time. Very impressed with the result :)