Monday, February 11, 2013

Just Put on Some Pants Already!

If my lack of interesting blog posts are indicative of anything, it is that I am seriously lacking motivation. Inspiration. Something.

It isn't that I haven't thought of any projects that I want to get moving on. I've thought of a few. I've even searched for some inspiration online and formulated some basic plans. Unfortunately, that is where it ends. Even with a plan, I am having a hard time getting moving. On anything.


Luca 7 Months

I've been thinking about it and I have an idea of what the problem is. I'm going to be honest here (I know, big surprise) but I'd say that most days of the week, I barely get dressed. I never thought I'd be that girl. You know the one. The one you hear about in stories from a friend who knows a girl who knows a girl who heard of a girl who wore jogging pants every day of her maternity leave. I didn't think I'd be super-mom but I thought that I would at least get dressed. Hair done? Probably not. But dressed? I thought that was going to be easy.

I was wrong. I'm totally that girl. On any given day, my unlucky husband gets to come home to his wife who is wearing jogging pants, a tshirt and a sweater/sweatshirt. Sorry J.

The thing is...it is bothering me. I'm feeling kind of sad about my lack of effort when it comes to myself. I will make sure Luca is well taken care of, looking good, well fed and happy, but I barely take the time to make myself a sandwich for lunch. And if I make a sandwich, I don't get dressed. Pathetic. Don't even ask me about getting my hair done so I don't have 2 inches of grey roots. Ugh.

It isn't like I don't have time. Luca sleeps. I have a few hours during the day when I'm not actively parenting that I could shower, get dressed and feel human. But I don't. Why?
Luca 7 Months

Because I'm tired, yo! When Luca wakes up in the morning, I'm exhausted. I'm up late because I have to pump, so I am not getting a good sleep even though Luca is. I bring him into bed for breakfast and try to wake myself up. After he eats, we head downstairs so that I can eat breakfast and we play. For about 50 minutes. I don't want to make it sound like I don't enjoy that time, but usually all I'm thinking about is how AWESOME my nap is going to be.

That's right. When Luca naps in the morning, I crawl right back into bed to catch some more zzzzs.


Luca 7 Months

You can't blame me. The one thing that everyone tells you when you first have a baby is "SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS", right? I'm just following directions.

So yeah - it doesn't make sense to get dressed if I'm going right back to bed, right?

After Luca wakes up, I feel like HELL. As much as I want that nap, I always feel WAY WORSE when I get up from it. Whether it is 45 minutes or 2 hours, when I first hear Luca whining and calling "MA MA MA MA MA" from his crib, I lay there, feeling like I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend I can't hear the little cutie.

So then I get up again. I take the little munchkin downstairs and he eats. Then we play. I feel tired and I hope that he'll chill out for 5 minutes so I can make a coffee.

Coffee helps.

We then play in the basement (it is the winter here so we are hibernating in the basement) until it is nap time again. Remember. He only stays awake for about 1.5 hours until he starts complaining. Little guy loves his sleep!


Luca 7 Months

Luca sleeps. I make and eat lunch. I could get dressed now. I could. But I don't. (Gosh, this is SO depressing as I read it). I'd rather stay cozy and comfortable and eat my sandwich and read the newspaper or watch something on Netflix.

When he gets up, we do it all over again. Nurse. Play. Sleep. During his last nap I usually try to start dinner and by this time, the day is practically over so why would I get dressed now, right? :-)


Luca 7 Months

I know that if I left the house more, I would (obviously) be more on top of things like doing my hair and getting dressed in something other than pyjama pants and breastfeeding-friendly tops. However with Luca's sleeping schedule, I'm not keen on messing with it unless it is for something special (i.e lunch with a friend, etc). I'm not going to mess with it (and end up with a screaming child) just to cruise the mall.

I also think that maybe if I felt better in my clothes, I'd feel better getting dressed up for the day. I don't mean "oh I need to lose weight" (which I do). Rather, I need to get some half decent casual clothes that aren't my 2 pairs of saggy jeans (WHY do skinny jeans INSIST on sagging after one wear? Isn't that why you wear skinny jeans?! WTH!) and some crappy tops that for some reason (probably because they were cheap) are either stretched out or have shrunk three sizes.


Luca 7 Months

So here is my plan.

1. Go shopping. I'm going to get some decent casual clothes that fit and I feel okay in. I don't need to dress up (heck, I'm at home all day) but getting out of my sweat pants and saggy jeans would be a pretty huge step up. Even if I want to wear a sweatshirt, it can at least be a cute one, right?

2. I'm going to get dressed. Every day***. After my nap. Until I stop pumping at night, I need some sleep and it seems silly to suffer through the day on principle. Plus naps are awesome.

3. Let the motivation start rolling! I think that getting dressed will kick start my day and maybe then I can start up on some of the projects that have been rolling around in my head. Like the master bedroom. And trying some new recipes.


Luca 7 Months

Do you think it will work? Part of me feels like I can't be the only SAHM who feels this way. Pinterest moms are not the norm, right?

How do you stay motivated? 

*** Note to my family who reads this. Please don't call me every day and ask if I got dressed. Please and thank you :-)
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38 comments:

Alison said...

Janice, I am sooo with you. Hell, before Rhys I was that girl, wearing comfy clothes while either walking the dogs or teaching dance. Now, it's a good day when I wear a bra. I went one whole week getting dressed for the day. Yep, that was 5 months ago.

My challenge, is getting out of the house to buy some clothes. I hate going to the mall, and I really find it challenging finding clothes that fit this foreign body of mine.

One thing I did do is sign up for a 30 day hair challenge through www.hairromance.com .. I figured I would start there. Now I really need to get out my 4 pair of jogging pant rotation. Like you, I'm way over due for a trip to the mall.


Plus, being winter does not help.

Shannon8footsix said...

Oh lady! We need to get you some cute jeans! And tops! you just need one outfit to wear all week ;)
I try to take the boys out everyday - so I always get dressed...but my jogging pants go on when we get home ...

Post some outfit shots - and dress up for us!!!

dpirraglia said...

Try Levi's skinny jeans. I have three pairs and I find they stretch less than other brands, IMO. At least less than my Gap jeans, which are the worst culprits.

Grace @ sense and simplicity said...

Yep, upgrading the sweatshirts (and even if the yoga pants are black they don't look too bad) will make you feel better. What about hitting Loblaws and getting some of the Joe stuff. It doesn't cost much so if you don't fit it after a few months because you have lost weight, then no loss. They have some pretty cute stuff these days. I like the idea of dressing up for us. I also think getting out more might help as you have to dress up. Babies do adjust to going out (second and third babies don't have a choice). What about trying to get dressed a few times a week at first - maybe Monday, Wed, Friday at first. Just some thoughts. It is a tough time - I remember it all too well and it was almost a quarter of a century ago for me.

Designwali said...

Winter blahs don't help either. Go get your hair done & pick up some cheap & cheerful clothing. That should do the trick. Plan a date night or something that may trigger it all..

Casey said...

honestly, if i were home all day (especially in the winter!) I wouldnt get dressed either. go easy on yourself! there will come a time when he is older and stays up longer and you will go out more and put on some pants!


But I wouldnt discourage you from doing a bit of shopping :) you deserve to spoil yourself a bit!

lifewithadog said...

Oh I hear you on so many points! I try and wear jeans every day, but instead of the cute casual tops I got for Christmas I end up in a t-shirt and hoodie 99% of the time. And lately there have been a lot more "sweats and sleepers" days for us (yes, I get so lazy I can't be bothered to change Oliver out of his pjs). While I may be doing well on the jeans front, I've blow-dried my hair maybe 5 times in the past 5 months - oh how I miss straight hair!
Good for you for napping! I just can't manage to do that. Ollie only naps 40 minutes at a time, and I always seem to need that time to wash bottles or pumping equipment, eat breakfast/lunch, or prep dinner. Or, let's be really honest, take some ME time (because the hour I get at night just doesn't seem like it's enough!).

Meg@lovingalbany said...

Been there!! My motivation trick was...do one thing a day. It got me out of the house. But only one! (One could be done - two, maybe not) The motivation builds when you get one thing done every day. Then Spring will be here and getting out will be soooooo much easier...

Laura J said...

I stay home with my 5-month old...my idea of getting "dressed" some days is changing from pj pants to yoga pants. Still comfortable & not exactly something I'd wear to lunch with friends, but mentally I feel like I got up that day. We also do better on days we go on a walk (fit in between naps) for fresh air & I try to hit Target or something between afternoon & evening naps. Just quick trips out, but enough that I get grown-up contact. Maybe start with something short, but getting out of the basement in one of your 1.5 hour wake times would be a good start for your mental health :) Good luck with getting dressed though. It sounds like you want to get out of your jogging pants, which is more than I do most days

jocelynec said...

I think you just described my life also. I am on maternity leave and spend the majority of my time in yoga pants. I do change into jeans when I leave the house but they are abandoned the minute I come home. I am still dealing with a loose stomach and it's pretty uncomfortable to hunch over and breastfeed with restricting jeans on. I did purchase some new tops that are breastfeeding friendly and attractive, but when paired with a ratty (albeit very comfortable) pair of yoga pants, it kind of diminishes the look, no? I've got less than 3 months of maternity leave left (where does the time go?) so I am going to have to work on my appearance soon, but for now, I just want to be comfortable. My son on the other hand looks like he's ready to go to a photoshoot every day.

Margaret said...

My trick was to buy sweater dresses or cotten/wool tunics and leggings add a scarf on the way out the door and you feel 100% better even without a wash and hair in a ponytail.

Megan said...

I can totally relate! I am on my 4th month of mat leave and spend much of my time in the same nursing tanks. I wear the same one for multiple days, all day and all night! The other day at dinner I said to my husband " I am really looking forward to the day when I no longer wear pyjama pants, a hoodie, Christmas socks and my hair pulled back." I guess things will have to change when I go back to work.

athena said...

It's winter and you have an infant. I think you get a pass and should do whatever makes you feel happy and comfortable :) If you want new clothes, get new clothes and get your hair done but if you're fine as you are, then you really are fine as you are! Is it guilt or that you want to actually change? Maybe a bit of both. ((hugs))

Sandra said...

No, Pinterest moms are NOT the norm, which is why I'm very wary of it. I'm at home with my 3 two year olds and I'm expecting my fourth this summer. While I do get dressed every day, I know my mother (who helps me out during the week) is mystified as to why I spend so much of my cherished free time on the computer; and why I eat the same blah lunch every day. Truth is, I'm exhausted and simply don't have the motivation to do any different. It does depress me some days because I hate feeling unproductive. But I try to be gentle with myself. Parenting is tough slog, there is no doubt.

The BEST thing I did when my kids were Luca's age, was to go for a walk every single day. Right now, my trio won't tolerate sitting in a stroller for more than 20 minutes, but a year ago, those hour long walks were my salvation. I felt like a new person - refreshed, re-invigorated, reconnected with my community. Daily therapy :) Also, it didn't matter if the babies screamed, slept or enjoyed the scenery. I didn't have to entertain them like I would have had we spent the same hour playing on the floor (we did hours of that anyways). I kept up a lively banter the whole time, but it felt so much more like freedom. Sigh. I miss those days.

Mandy said...

I feel you! there are many days that I'm in my pjs all day (or I change into my bum clothes 20mins before DH gets home just so I won't hear it). I'm on mat leave as well and ya...there are days I just can't get motivated. I agree that the weather has something to do with it (heck, I'm not leaving the house so why bother)...What has helped me in general though with some motivation is following some mommy fashion bloggers (but not for everyday...just for days when I'm going out) and following some organizing blogs so that I actually get some stuff done at home. but let's be real, it's much comfier hanging out on the couch with a cup of coffee when my little guy is sleeping

Allison said...

Can you eliminate pumping at night? If you're doing it because you're uncomfortable, only pump enough to relieve the pressure. Your body and milk supply will adjust to what Luca needs in a few days.


(((Janice)))

Christine Shankowsky said...

I hear ya! Alice is napping right now and instead of cleaning up the tornado that hit my house today (and everyday) I'm reading blogs cause you know why? I'm tired!! Man, I wish I could tell you that goes away. Quiet time is so need for mama too.

I usually don't get dressed till Alice goes down for her morning nap, but I DO feel better about my day once I'm dressed. Go get yourself some cute jeans! You deserve it.

FRECKLES CHICK said...

I SOOOO relate to every thing you wrote! Pre-Quinn, I was naive....thought I'd be strolling the aisles of some department store w/ bebe, a latte in hand, dressed casually but cutely.

Nope. I can't nap when Q naps (aside from the fact that Q has always averaged 30 min to 1 hr 10 min max for her naps, I've never been a napper really.....so I wonder where she gets it from) so I'm racing to catch up on stuff while she sleeps. Now that she stays awake for 4 hrs in between naps, I end up looking even more dissheveled!! These days, I consider getting out of pjs & into my yoga pants an accomplishment.


So I completely hear you, my friend, on the whole motivation thing. I think you deserve to treat yourself too. You're doing such an amazing job w/ Luca & mama needs to feel/look good too.


Thanks so much for posting this! It feels good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Your post is now MY motivation. =]



xoxo

Life Begins at Thirty, Right? said...

You are very perceptive. I think it is a little of both. I am by nature a homebody and love little more than napping and being cozy at home. However I do worry I'm going to look back at this time and wish I had "done" more. I have jeans on today. That's a start!

kerri said...

I can totally relate - My 'thing' is showering. I MUST shower. EVERYDAY. I feel it helps wake me up and wash off the 'ickiness' of a crummy/sleepless night. I'm a better mom after I shower. Even if I have to hop back in bed for a morning nap. I also get dressed, not fancy, definitely washable... I also found out that buying the right size clothing helps.... my post-babe bod isn't quite up to pre-babe bod, and there are some areas I'd rather camouflage. You'll be fine - once the warm weather comes you'll be out more. Hibernating through winter is totally acceptable, especially in the name of SLEEP!

Angela Perry said...

I totally get it and by the looks of these comments you are definitely not alone. The days that I don't go out with baby I am home in my black leggings, hair pinned on top of my head, and no make-up on. My husband comes home to me that way most days too. However a good friend of mine who has two children told me to embrace these days that I don't have to get dressed, do my hair and put make-up on because soon enough this phase of life will be over and I will be wishing that I could enjoy this time all over again...so that's what I am trying to do. It's totally okay if you don't get dressed or put make-up on. You have a little baby..and it's Winter. As long as we are happy and content right? You start supper? That's super awesome!!! What I find helps for me is setting up my week so that we are out of the house atleast every 2nd or 3rd day. That way we have our days at home and then also have days to get dressed (even though I am still in a pair of black leggings and most likely my hair on top of my head) put a little bit of make-up on and head out for a walk, or to the mall, or a lunch somewhere. You seem like a really great caring Mom. That's something to be very proud of :)

lisaroy said...

Don't beat yourself up about it! Heck, I'm not far off and I don't even have a kid! So what's my excuse? :)

Katie Smigelski Keefe said...

I love your honesty! I too struggle with whether to take that extra morning nap, or bothering to look presentable! The one thing that worked for me was when I didn't heal correctly from my c-section & had a home healthcare nurse coming to the house everyday to take care of me. I always made sure to be showered & ready by the time they came. The trend sort of just continued long after I was back to my old self...some days I wasn't even going anywhere, but on went the clothes, hair & make-up were done, etc. Sounds foolish, but it was the one habit that stuck & helped me feel like myself even when I was totally sleep deprived and carrying around that extra weight. I guess going back to work part time has helped too, as I'm sure yoga pants & no make-up isn't office appropriate?!

Ashley Izsak said...

I feel what you are saying. The days are long, wonderful yes but long and the winter blows. I do force myself to get dressed and it is easier once the nursing cuts back (not that I am encouraging you to rush that). Getting clothes that fit your body now is key... I did that about a year ago and felt wayyyy better. Also, once you are dressed, you will feel less tired and more like a human again.

Leah Fry said...

It's hard to feel energetic in winter. For myself, I have learnt that my body clock wants me to face the day during my little one's first sleep of the day, and I can't sleep then. So that's when I shower and get dressed. I'm much more likely to sleep during her second sleep, so I try to get some rest then. I don't express though, and aim to be in bed by 9:30pm, and I can be up 1-3 times for feeding, depending on what's going on with her. She only has the two sleeps during the day, and not longer than 1 hour and 45 mins, so it's really hard to work on any projects. I aim to do one or two quick things a day on my to do list to help me feel like I have achieved something (beyond caring for my baby!). You might have more motivation once Luca can stay awake a bit longer and you can venture out. If you haven't seen this blog, I recommend you have a look as I find it quite insightful on the change that comes with a baby: http://www.memoriesoncloverlane.com/

Hana said...

So, I don't know if you are familiar with the flylady concept, but you pretty much completed step one of her program. So be proud of yourself! :)

Sara @ Russet Street Reno said...

Well, I do dress nicely with hair/makeup because I go to work - but when I'm home, on goes the nursing tank, sweats/pj bottoms, and nappy cardigan or hoodie. That is my 'home' uniform, and I don't see any way around that. As for being tired, I hear that. When Ash wakes up at midnight and keeps me up for an hour, then wakes up at 5:30 for the day, and I have to get ready for work at 6:30, that is awful and I sort of hate having a kid those mornings. But that is just my reality. I was never able to nap during maternity leave, I just can't sleep during the day. If I don't sleep well at night, that is it. Are you still waking up to pump? I pump once at around 10pm and then don't do anything more until baby is up around 6am to nurse. My supply is doing just fine, it all adjusted really well and he is exclusively breastfed, no formula. After he nurses in the morning, I put him in his pack n play and shower/get ready, and pump while I'm doing my hair and makeup around 7am. Then I pump three times at work (9:30, 12:30, 3:30)....and nurse him before bed around 7pm. It's really exhausting, to be honest! But it's free and it's best for him. I'm really tired, too. It sucks. With all that said, nothing wrong with some new pants and tops! I love the nursing camis at Target, the Gillian O'malley ones. WAY better than Motherhood and other brands.

Jules said...

Joe Fresh has some really nice, casual cozy wear. It's pretty much what I live in on the weekends. And also, do not feel bad--your baby is adorable, happy, healthy and being fed...and really at the end of the day that is what matters right?! Plus I would imagine that once spring comes and Luca is a bit bigger you will be incorporating walks etc into your days and you will feel less like hibernating and more like getting dressed to go outside. If I think about it all of my friends who have been home with their little ones over the winter have been doing the same thing. You are not alone!

Amy said...

Thank you so very much for sharing! I am so glad I'm not the only one (as I sit here reading blogs and eating lunch in my pj's - I'm multitasking). I too, am always tired but found that nixing that morning nap helped me feel more alive. Sometimes that little bit of sleep isn't enough and will only make you more groggy. There is science behind this - something about REM sleep or something. Try it! With Luca's next morning nap stay up and do something for you - whether it means getting dressed or online shopping/browsing. Just see if it makes a teeny difference in how you feel.

Jen Selk said...

Dude, I just wanted to tell you that I OFTEN don't get dressed. And I don't even have a kid. Not that I'm, like, a representative of a motivated life or whatnot... just wanted to tell you that you're not alone, as I'm sure you can see from the rest of the comments. I can't even imagine what a mess I would be if I had a baby to take care of.

Jenn said...

You are so lucky to have such a long maternity leave. I live in the States so I was lucky to get 3 months. Anyway, the point of that was that I went through the same emotions but in a shorter span of time. My daughter is now 8 months and on weekends I rarely get out of my nursing tank, sweatshirts and sweat pants. When I was on leave though I bought myself some clothes that weren't maternity clothes and would get dressed to go grocery shopping one day a week. It was my outing for the week and I felt so good afterwards because I started to feel like a real human again. Don't spend this precious time feeling guilty.

Stephanie Fazio (aka lealou) said...

Arg! I just wrote a comment and it didn't work! (Dumb ipad). Anyway what I was going to say is that getting dressed works! Even if it's just into a pair of yoga pants, make sure it's something different than what you went to bed in. Also, I suggest making your bed. Even when I know I'm going to need a nap, I make the bed because getting into a made bed makes the nap all the more satisfying. Just do these two things every morning for a week and I guarantee it will make a difference (if it doesn't I'll buy you a latte ;)) and you'll start to feel more motivated to do other things.

Stephanie Fazio (aka lealou) said...

Arg! I just wrote a comment and it didn't work! (Dumb ipad). Anyway what I was going to say is that getting dressed works! Even if it's just into a pair of yoga pants, make sure it's something different than what you went to bed in. Also, I suggest making your bed. Even when I know I'm going to need a nap, I make the bed because getting into a made bed makes the nap all the more satisfying. Just do these two things every morning for a week and I guarantee it will make a difference (if it doesn't I'll buy you a latte ;)) and you'll start to feel more motivated to do other things.

Natalie Carlson Cox said...

He's darling!!!

Life Begins at Thirty, Right? said...

Haha Luca is in a sleeper ALL day unless we leave the house. He naps so much so I figure it makes sense :-) Having a baby who sleeps (finally!) definitely helps because I can nap and get a few things done. However I usually don't take those moments to do anything for me (other than sleep/eat). Maybe a shower or blow dry my hair - that is a great idea! haha

Deidre said...

Sara, can I ask, why do you pump after feeding him in the am? Is that to keep your supply up? Just wondering...thanks!

Sara @ Russet Street Reno said...

Deidre, Ashford is not the most efficient nurser, and I usually get another 2-3 ounces out after he's done in the morning. I add those to his daycare supply for the day. If he's hungry and does a good job, I get nothing but a few drops and that is fine, too. And it does help to keep my supply up!

Heather @ InteriorGroupie said...

If it makes you feel any better, I live in jp's and lulu pants all weekend...and change into them as soon as I am home from work. Why get good clothes dirty (or skinny jeans saggy OMG) for nothing? haha I definitely think your plan of some new clothes will help, and maybe even going out for walks during his 1.5 hour awake windows...maybe once spring hits you can hit up some farmer's markets, the park, etc.