If my lack of interesting blog posts are indicative of anything, it is that I am seriously lacking motivation. Inspiration. Something.
It isn't that I haven't thought of any projects that I want to get moving on. I've thought of a few. I've even searched for some inspiration online and formulated some basic plans. Unfortunately, that is where it ends. Even with a plan, I am having a hard time getting moving. On anything.
I've been thinking about it and I have an idea of what the problem is. I'm going to be honest here (I know, big surprise) but I'd say that most days of the week, I barely get dressed. I never thought I'd be that girl. You know the one. The one you hear about in stories from a friend who knows a girl who knows a girl who heard of a girl who wore jogging pants every day of her maternity leave. I didn't think I'd be super-mom but I thought that I would at least get dressed. Hair done? Probably not. But dressed? I thought that was going to be easy.
I was wrong. I'm totally that girl. On any given day, my
unlucky husband gets to come home to his wife who is wearing jogging pants, a tshirt and a sweater/sweatshirt. Sorry J.
The thing is...it is bothering me. I'm feeling kind of sad about my lack of effort when it comes to myself. I will make sure Luca is well taken care of, looking good, well fed and happy, but I barely take the time to make myself a sandwich for lunch. And if I make a sandwich, I don't get dressed. Pathetic. Don't even ask me about getting my hair done so I don't have 2 inches of grey roots. Ugh.
It isn't like I don't have time. Luca sleeps. I have a few hours during the day when I'm not actively parenting that I could shower, get dressed and feel human. But I don't. Why?
Because I'm tired, yo! When Luca wakes up in the morning, I'm exhausted. I'm up late because I have to pump, so I am not getting a good sleep even though Luca is. I bring him into bed for breakfast and try to wake myself up. After he eats, we head downstairs so that I can eat breakfast and we play. For about 50 minutes. I don't want to make it sound like I don't enjoy that time, but usually all I'm thinking about is how AWESOME my nap is going to be.
That's right. When Luca naps in the morning, I crawl right back into bed to catch some more zzzzs.
You can't blame me. The one thing that everyone tells you when you first have a baby is "SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS", right? I'm just following directions.
So yeah - it doesn't make sense to get dressed if I'm going right back to bed, right?
After Luca wakes up, I feel like HELL. As much as I want that nap, I always feel WAY WORSE when I get up from it. Whether it is 45 minutes or 2 hours, when I first hear Luca whining and calling "MA MA MA MA MA" from his crib, I lay there, feeling like I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend I can't hear the little cutie.
So then I get up again. I take the little munchkin downstairs and he eats. Then we play. I feel tired and I hope that he'll chill out for 5 minutes so I can make a coffee.
We then play in the basement (it is the winter here so we are hibernating in the basement) until it is nap time again. Remember. He only stays awake for about 1.5 hours until he starts complaining. Little guy loves his sleep!
Luca sleeps. I make and eat lunch. I could get dressed now. I could. But I don't. (Gosh, this is SO depressing as I read it). I'd rather stay cozy and comfortable and eat my sandwich and read the newspaper or watch something on Netflix.
When he gets up, we do it all over again. Nurse. Play. Sleep. During his last nap I usually try to start dinner and by this time, the day is practically over so why would I get dressed now, right? :-)
I know that if I left the house more, I would (obviously) be more on top of things like doing my hair and getting dressed in something other than pyjama pants and breastfeeding-friendly tops. However with Luca's sleeping schedule, I'm not keen on messing with it unless it is for something special (i.e lunch with a friend, etc). I'm not going to mess with it (and end up with a screaming child) just to cruise the mall.
I also think that maybe if I felt better in my clothes, I'd feel better getting dressed up for the day. I don't mean "oh I need to lose weight" (which I do). Rather, I need to get some half decent casual clothes that aren't my 2 pairs of saggy jeans (WHY do skinny jeans INSIST on sagging after one wear? Isn't that why you wear skinny jeans?! WTH!) and some crappy tops that for some reason (probably because they were cheap) are either stretched out or have shrunk three sizes.
So here is my plan.
1. Go shopping. I'm going to get some decent casual clothes that fit and I feel okay in. I don't need to dress up (heck, I'm at home all day) but getting out of my sweat pants and saggy jeans would be a pretty huge step up. Even if I want to wear a sweatshirt, it can at least be a cute one, right?
2. I'm going to get dressed. Every day***. After my nap. Until I stop pumping at night, I need some sleep and it seems silly to suffer through the day on principle. Plus naps are awesome.
3. Let the motivation start rolling! I think that getting dressed will kick start my day and maybe then I can start up on some of the projects that have been rolling around in my head. Like the master bedroom. And trying some new recipes.
Do you think it will work? Part of me feels like I can't be the only SAHM who feels this way. Pinterest moms are not the norm, right?
How do you stay motivated?
*** Note to my family who reads this. Please don't call me every day and ask if I got dressed. Please and thank you :-)